Me: 46, breath, breath, 47, breath, 48...
Dachshund: RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF RUFF
Me: Why is that wiener dog barking at me? He is 50 yards away and sitting with what looks to be a very nice lady. I am no where near him; although I am internally protesting these burpees continuously, there is no reason that he should protest them!
Lady sitting with Dachshund (after seeing me death stare the hot dog for distracting my counting): He's just giving you encouragement!
Me: Oh, ha! Thanks! Well, that was nice little wiener dog! Sorry I silently cursed you!
Man with a fluffy dog (who looks kinda creepy, but there are a lot of people around, so no reason to run): Ma'am, excuse me ma'am?
Me: Number 5, I've done 5. Yes? Can't you see I'm busy here? I'm trying to do burpees AND count them!
Man: You know they've outlawed squat jumps in several states.
Me: Oh, he's making a joke -- he's not totally creepy! Haha! I wish they would outlaw them here! Haha!
Man: (not laughing, not smiling) They really have outlawed them. They are bad for your knees.
Me: Oh. What the?
Man: Yea, it's against the law to make kids in high school do them. They ruin your knees. I've had both mine replaced.
Me: Oh.
Man: I'm just tryin to keep you from having to go through that.
Me: Oh, thanks. What number was I on? Only 5? So 80 more? Ugh. It would be nice to get working on them instead of listening to this guy tell me about how bad they are for me. I'm not planning to do these every day of my life! Just everyday for 100 days -- I'll be fine.
Man: I'm just telling you. You look into them. I'm into cigarrettes. So...
Me: No, I appreciate it. Thanks. I can see that you are into cigarrettes. The smell is making me sick. I am definitely more likely to puke from that smoke than have my knees replaced right now.
Man: I just don't want you to have to get your knees replaced.
Me: Yes. I don't want that either. And I don't want you to talk to me anymore.
Man: I'm just telling you. You're a pretty girl and I don't want you to go through what I did.
Me: Okay...now you've crossed the line. You were just annoying and weird. Now, you are definitely creepy. Okay, thanks. Gotta go! And now I can't do my regular route today! Thanks a lot creepy man! Now I have to do 5 laps around the little park. hmf!
Me: What the heck kind of dogs are those! They are quite small, but fat. And curved. Do they have scoliosis? What...oh my gosh...no way... rabbits! On leashes! That's new.
Me: Aw, those kids are having a moonwalk party! I always loved moonwalks. How fun! Oh wow. The ice cream truck is at that party! Oh my gosh! Do I have time to run home and get money for that? No? No, I can't have ice cream? I have about 50 more burpees to do instead. What a lousy birthday party. [Looking back, I should have tried to join that party to get in that moonwalk. I bet I could have finished those 50 burpees in no time! What an idiot -- I thought ice cream was the answer. The moonwalk would have really made me happy!]
Charter school recess monitor (after a just did 5 burpees and walked towards his station): You better quit that! You're setting the standard too high for the rest of us! [smile/laugh]
Me: Oh, haha! Sorry! Aw...thanks old man! You are so sweet! Just when I wanted to quit, you make me feel so good about this. Hmmm...so nice! I love nice people. I think I'm gonna cry.
No comments:
Post a Comment